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Worst Anime of All Time (transcript)
This is the dialogue in the video, Worst Anime of All Time. *'PhantomStrider:' *'#10 — Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-Chan (2005)' *'PhantomStrider:' *'#9 — Eiken (2003)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'#8 — Mars of Destruction (2005)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'#7 — Psychic Wars (1991)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'#6 — School Days (2007)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'#5 — Skelter Heaven (2004)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'#4 — Diabolik Lovers (2013)' *'PhantomStrider: ' *'Top 3 Warning' *'PhantomStrider: '''Just a heads up that these last 3 particularly contain some very immoral themes and animated gore. We'll try to keep it light-hearted and pleasant, but just a heads up! And the 3rd worst Anime of all time is... Pupa! *'#3 — Pupa (2014)' ''up: Some barred animated gore and immoral themes discussed. *'Robyn: '''Oh, boy! I was hoping to not revisit this one. Must we, Strider? Must we? *'PhantomStrider: I'm afraid we must, Robyn. It's certainly among the worst Japanese abominations in recorded history, so it's gotta go on the list! *'Robyn: '''Oh, but where to start? There's cannibalism, endless revolting scenes, and a ridiculously poor story to back it up. *'PhantomStrider: 'Do you consider necrophilia incest entertaining? Now your answer to that would probably be, "Of course not, Strider! What the hell is wrong with you?!" But the demented blockheads behind ''Pupa thought this would be an entertaining concept to make an Anime about! *'Robyn: '''The actual... "plot"... Okay, plot's a pretty generous term, but the things that happened include Utsutsu's younger sister, Yume, getting the Pupa virus and Utsutsu sacrificing himself to try to get rid of it, followed by Yume committing mass genocide. Yay! *'PhantomStrider: 'Ugh! While I think ultraviolence has some place in art and could serve a purpose, ''Pupa is definitely one of those Animes that isn't being violent for some thematic purpose or reason. I mean, where does necrophilic, incest cannibalism fit into any ''art form? *'Robyn: 'I don't know! In fact, we have to stomach an entire episode devoted to Yume eating her own brother's innards; all the while the dialogue is so atrociously one-dimensional, it just hurts! *'PhantomStrider: ''Pupa'' is the ultimate combination of shoddy writing and exploitation, all muddled together with a senseless, pointlessly cruel story! This thing makes bowel surgery look like a birthday party! And the 2nd worst Anime of all time is... Violence Jack! *'#2 — Violence Jack (1986)' *'PhantomStrider: '''Few Animes come closer to representing the potential ugliness of the human spirit than ''Violence Jack! So, Jack's a knife-wielding maniac that gets uncovered by the inhabitants of... Evil Town, a trapped, underground, vermin-invested city. It turns out there's actually a perfectly fine world above them; they just seem to... like living like this. As of our buddy Jack "can't-remember-his-name", he asks the inhabitants to call him "Violence Jack". Why violence? Because he likes violence! And why Jack? Because he has a jackknife! Isn't that wonderful? *'Robyn: '''It's also nice to know that everybody in Evil Town just happens to be a murderer or a sexual offender. Don't you just feel safe? *'PhantomStrider: Violence Jack'' is basically the Anime equivalence to a tasteless snuff fest. We get such lovely concepts such as mutilation, necrophilia, and of course, even more cannibalism! Cuz', you know, that was so pleasant to watch the first time... NOT! *'Robyn: '''Morality just isn't a concept that even exists in this world. Every single male character is represented as a merciless, abusing killing monster! *'PhantomStrider: That's probably already far more than you needed to know about this film. Violence Jack is a completely tasteless, ultraviolet snuff fest that relishes in the most grotesque concepts of humanity. If you should ever have the misfortune to find a copy of this in your local bargain bin, I recommend you burn it! And before we get to #1 — and trust me, there's no harm in delaying that — let's get to the Dis-Dis-Dis... Dishonorable Mentions! *'''Dishonorable Mention #1 — Boku no Pico (2006) *'PhantomStrider: '''This one more than deserves to be on the list as this is widely renowned as the worst Paedo Anime ever, but it most certainly falls into the Hentai category, so thankfully, we got to skip it! Avoid ''Boku No Pico like the plague! I'd invite the plague over for a birthday party before taking one minute of Boku no Pico! *'Dishonorable Mention #2 — DearS (2004)' *'PhantomStrider: '''That twisted Japanese fantasy with a subservient female has always hurt me a bit. *'Robyn:' Not to mention you could definitely tell this is an alien version of ''Chobits, which was actually released 2 years before this show. Come on Peach-Pit, you're better than this! *'PhantomStrider:' Just a heads up that there's some very unpleasant themes in this final Anime and, while I censored the gore, I don't recommend watching further if you are particularly squeamish. Well, you're ready for this, Robyn? *'Robyn:' No! Must we? *'PhantomStrider:' "We must! We must press on! And the #1 worst Anime of all time is… Midori: Shoujo Tsubaki!" *'#1 — Midori: Shoujo Tsubaki (1992)' *''of mutilations are heard'' *'PhantomStrider:' This is by far... the worst Anime I have '''''EVER seen! This isn't just the worst in Anime; it is the worst in animations I've seen. In cartoons. It's worse than Ren Seeks Help. No one I know has ever liked ''this Anime. It is just so vile and despicable! There is just this alien void of anything good or decent in this Anime! It's about the most barbaric and cruel elements of humanity, all presented in a way that made me feel physically ill! It's about the sadistic torture and sexual assault of minors, torture of animals, and all the most demented, cruel, senseless aspects of humanity ever concocted by some isolated Japanese minds! This Anime was made by one guy. One demented, disturbed Japanese shut-in named Hiroshi. He, in fact, put his life savings into this Anime, because funnily enough, no studio was willing to pay him money to make this Anime. I wonder why! Hiroshi intended to show this Anime exclusively at carnival freak shows. That should give you some indication of the bile we're delving into here! Okay, so the plot? You wanna know the plot, right? It's, it's, ugh... *'Robyn: Strider, Strider! Calm down! Take a breather! Let me take over the plot for you, okay? *'PhantomStrider: '''Okay. Thanks, Robyn. You go ahead. *'Robyn: Overall, it seems like the plot of the movie is GROSS EVERYBODY OUT! Make them ALL have nightmares for ALL OF ETERNITY! But apparently, Midori, a 10-year-old flower girl who loses her parents in a vile death scene, is forced into slavery for a circus freak show group. The group proceeds to turn this 10-year-old girl into their tortured sex slave, but then an older midget man manipulates Midori in order to become this 10-year-old girl's LOVER! And it ends with Midori going insane with rage at her carnival captors after she thinks they murdered her… husband? Okay! We are given constant horrific images beyond just simple gore, but a true hideous twisting of the human spirit! *'PhantomStrider: '''Or good buddy Hiroshi here had to animate all 5,000 frames by himself, because apparently, no one wanted to sponsor freak show orgies, 10-year-old sexual abuse and torture scenes. What a surprise! You'd swear the studios had common sense. ''Shoujo Tsubaki ''was actually banned... in Japan! Yeah, the country that brought us Tentacle-Hentai? They banned this! And the Japanese government prohibited it for being released ''anywhere ''outside of Japan. In fact, parts of the original film was stolen and destroyed, due to its gruesome and disturbing imagery. So even the ''public ''wanted to destroy this film! But sadly, the public had to see the remaining parts of the film that ''weren't ''destroyed. *'Robyn: Strangely enough, though, Midori ''actually recently got its own live-action adaptation. Because of all the genius concepts out there, surely ''Midori ''was more than deserving to get its own adaptation. *'PhantomStrider: ''Shoujo Tsubaki is... the Holocaust of Anime! It's that special level of rotten! To me personally, ''Shoujo Tsubaki ''is the #1 worst Anime of all time! '''Easily!' *'Robyn:' Yeah, it's safe to say this one, Strider. Shoujo Tsubaki ''is, without a doubt, the #1 worst Anime of all time! *'The Conclusion''' *'PhantomStrider: '''When you put aside the small portion of unmentionables, Anime itself has played a great part in our current western cartoons. They're so sophisticated. While the worst of Anime is more like a bad smell that befouls the earth for a moment, the decent Anime has been so groundbreaking over the years, it didn't just change Japan, it changed the world! Do you think we missed a particularly bad Anime? *'Robyn: 'There's plenty more terrible Anime out there, so feel free to let us know which one you think is the worst Anime of all time in the comment section. *'PhantomStrider: 'Thanks for helping me out Robyn! I really appreciate you dropping in! *'Robyn: 'Anytime, Strider! Until we meet again, everybody! *'PhantomStrider: 'Until we meet again. And of course, thank you for watching! And I'll see you next time! *'Robyn: '''Bye!